if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
