We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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