The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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