I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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