If i come over, it means nothing
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i came on her dog
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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