You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
