have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
NoShamevember. You game?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Two words: blizzard sex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
