with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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