Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
