he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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