it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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