Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize