you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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