You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
