I would go down on you faster than GM stock
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
