He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
