so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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