Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
