They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need to sanitize my soul.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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