If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
