he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
