my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
