Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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