Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
