well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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