worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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