If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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