eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
