singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
