Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
