And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
