I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
