Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
