Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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