Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
