Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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