I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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