and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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