I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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