you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
