Quick, to the slutcave!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
