he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
