that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
