Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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