So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
