I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
