You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
