You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
