are you still at the devil's house?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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