I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't put those talents on a resume
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
