fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize