where am i from again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
