he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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