I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
