if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize