I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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