I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
