the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize