what day is it and did you see me today?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
