ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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