I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
