Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
